THICK EBOBY FEM ON 5 TRAIN .. - m4w - 23 (BRONX)
THICK EBONY FEM ON 5 TRAIN READING OR STYDYING EARLY LIKE 545 YOU GOT OFF IN 42 ND ST GRAND CENTRAL WITH ME ..I’M LATINO WITH AND GRAY JACKET SITTING DOAGNOL FROM YOU
All I can say is you are sexy and don’t turn around cause that pretty round thing was good to me …. Hit me up
One of the things that really shapes the Missed Connections world is style. Posts are written in a range of tones, length, and apparently, grasp of the English language and spelling and grammar conventions. Sometimes this is entertaining and creates a bizarre accidental poetry, as seen in this post:
August/September 2005 corner of 59th and lex - m4w (Midtown)
Our eyes met as you crossed the street coming east on 59th street. Our gaze never wandered as if reading each other like a book you continued to talk to your friend without braking eye contact. As you passed by me you squeezed my side without braking stride. Your touch seemed as if it pierced my soul, I have never been touched like that by another woman and probably never will in the future. As I stood there frozen in my tracks wandering what the hell just happened to me it dawned on me that I should peruse, but by that time you were too far gone. If these words make it to you, I’m not frozen anymore and ready to peruse.
I actually think in a weird way “braking” almost works here, but there’s something really creepy about saying you want to “peruse” a woman.
Sometimes these misspellings and use of cyberspeak make me want to tear my hair out, but might just indicate that the post is being written on a smartphone:
jammed door - m4w (upper east side)
As i borded the train this morning i cought you at a glance in the other car i wanted to make my way to you but the door seem to be jamed thoe the wasnt the first time ive seen you but one of many morrning i finly got up just wannt to say hello.
Then again, this post is actually one sentence. ONE.
Sometimes, people who do have a grasp on English spelling and grammar conventions don’t always use them very well either—or, when using them, prove themselves to be morons.
Tripping on your hose: Essex street market - w4m - 22 (Lower East Side)
To the handsome Adonis over whose hose
my friend tripped: I suppose
you have great abs
and want you to know I’m up for grabs.
I was in stripes, didn’t have the time to talk
sometime we’ll make love on your wet sidewalk.
Self-consciously hackneyed poetry: NOT A TURN ON, LADIES. Also I think you know or don’t know if this guy has “great abs.”
Cathie Eagle is… - m4w - 43 (Prospect Heights)
My Catherine Earnshaw. He never treat you right. Let me take you to Yorkshire moors. Where we belong.
I am your Heathcliff. He always break you’re heart. Old printing press is no Wuthering Heights. Instead of ghosts love haunts our home.
There are a few literary romances that I’m pretty sure no one actually wants to resemble, and Wuthering Heights is one of them. If that’s what you want, I mean, whatever, but you’re either a masochist or an idiot.
I am also wondering why the author went to the trouble of using bad grammar but didn’t next-level it and try to write a phonetic Yorkshire accent to pay further tribute to the book.
last night at the watch the throne concert - m4w - 18 (manhatten)i really think the two ladys next to me and my homeboys at the watch the throne concert last night is so beautiful yall two can parties yall ass off we was in section 331 row J
PostingID: 2693999723
Listen, I know it’s a bad economy (oh believe me, I know), but honestly, would anyone be into this? “Yes, this sounds like the gig for me. I love having people eat raw fish off my naked body for $150 and some food.”
Private Sushi Event… - m4w - 99 (Battery Park)
Looking for 1-2 girls for Sunday night, 7pm…. small house warming where the four guests would like to eat sushi off beautiful women. Event will last at least two hours. Food and drinks will be provided.
Minimum compensation is $150 for two hours per person. (Negotiable)
Please respond with pics, level of clothing comfort, and if you’re bringing another girl. (Two girls preferred)
We ask that you come sober and clean.
Shower is available before or after the event.
Venus in Oliva - m4w - 52 (Lower East Side)
You took my breath away. Brunette at the bar with your hair pulled up and blue top, out with the nice bald and bearded guy, you really flipped me out. I never saw a more beautiful and expressive face as yours. Thank you goddess for lifting my heart and sharing your smile. Here’s to you. A one in a million lady.
(At the end, he raises his glass of champagne (“cham-pan-ya”) and gazes knowingly.)
“Man, there will be so many Missed Connections this weekend because of this event.”
Second thought: “Hey, I made that piece at that table over there!”
It was really awesome to finally get to meet Eleanor and Oliver from The Present Group, who were super instrumental in developing the CMC. If you’re wandering the tent in the front courtyard check them out—my Taxonomy of Missed Connections poster is on display, along with a bunch of other really great projects.
Couple need a place to play? - m4mw - 44 (Chelsea)
It’s Saturday night! Do you need a place to stop by for some quick sex? I’ve got a room at a nice hotel in Chelsea, near Broadway and 25th. I would just love to watch you play. No participation necessary. Generous white male. Stop by for a couple minutes or play longer. Let me know!
“Oh man, I would really love to have sex with you right now, stranger at the bar.”
“I would also like that, but we can’t go to my place. My roommate’s parents are visiting and that would be weird.”
“Oh no, we can’t go to my place either! My ceiling caved in.”
“Perhaps we should check Missed Connections to see if there are any available places to have sex?”
“That makes so much sense!”
(End scene.)
This is a market that PadMapper should really look into.
Oh, where to begin. I don’t really understand the idea that a “massage” might be better with someone from an Ivy, but also there’s a terrible economy joke in it, like, that Ivy League education got you here, soliciting on Missed Connections essentially to be a gigolo.
Also, “Please send email if you are interested in continuing this conversation” when you’re actually just talking to the void that is Craigslist? Dude, did you just copy/paste your cover letter you sent to various classy wealthy ladies? Lazy.
PERFECT LOOKING MAN WITH IVY-EDUCATION AND TALENTED MASSAGE FOR WOMEN - m4w - 31 (MANHATTAN AND NEARBY CT, NJ, LI, NY)
I am a man that is classy, fun, well-traveled, mature, safe, sophisticated and very very handsome. I provide the ultimate professional massage experience for women seeking only the very best. I am well traveled and have created a great client group which I wish to expand.
I am 6’ tall, 185lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, toned body, GQ looks and understand the use of the mind as well as body to provide the best ultimate relaxation experience for women seeking the best. Please send email if you are interested in continuing this conversation and scheduling an appointment.
Thank you. Best regards.
Mark
Accent theme by Handsome Code
