Some Highlights of Missed Connections Grammar Fail
One of the things that really shapes the Missed Connections world is style. Posts are written in a range of tones, length, and apparently, grasp of the English language and spelling and grammar conventions. Sometimes this is entertaining and creates a bizarre accidental poetry, as seen in this post:
August/September 2005 corner of 59th and lex - m4w (Midtown)
Our eyes met as you crossed the street coming east on 59th street. Our gaze never wandered as if reading each other like a book you continued to talk to your friend without braking eye contact. As you passed by me you squeezed my side without braking stride. Your touch seemed as if it pierced my soul, I have never been touched like that by another woman and probably never will in the future. As I stood there frozen in my tracks wandering what the hell just happened to me it dawned on me that I should peruse, but by that time you were too far gone. If these words make it to you, I’m not frozen anymore and ready to peruse.
I actually think in a weird way “braking” almost works here, but there’s something really creepy about saying you want to “peruse” a woman.
Sometimes these misspellings and use of cyberspeak make me want to tear my hair out, but might just indicate that the post is being written on a smartphone:
jammed door - m4w (upper east side)
As i borded the train this morning i cought you at a glance in the other car i wanted to make my way to you but the door seem to be jamed thoe the wasnt the first time ive seen you but one of many morrning i finly got up just wannt to say hello.
Then again, this post is actually one sentence. ONE.
Sometimes, people who do have a grasp on English spelling and grammar conventions don’t always use them very well either—or, when using them, prove themselves to be morons.
Tripping on your hose: Essex street market - w4m - 22 (Lower East Side)
To the handsome Adonis over whose hose
my friend tripped: I suppose
you have great abs
and want you to know I’m up for grabs.
I was in stripes, didn’t have the time to talk
sometime we’ll make love on your wet sidewalk.
Self-consciously hackneyed poetry: NOT A TURN ON, LADIES. Also I think you know or don’t know if this guy has “great abs.”