The Center for Missed Connections

Pretty Sure No One Is Debating This of the Day

Ah yes, the “let’s have an argument about a movie from the 1980s” pickup line. Also, I am shocked to read that this woman doesn’t know anyone really familiar with Dirty Dancing. What’s wrong with her friends? 

I Have This Great Debate Point About the ‘Dirty Dancing’ Remake! - w4m - 29 (Greenpoint)

The other day, I came up with this amazing insight that can instantly shut down ANY debate about whether it is okay for them to be remaking “Dirty Dancing” (they are, and it is not okay). But I realized I didn’t have anyone to share it with, because I don’t know anyone who even knows the original very well, let alone knows the original well enough to be familiar with the plot point my argument is based around BUT ALSO foolhardy enough to argue for a remake. So, I am looking for someone very familiar with the original version, who is interested in (and possibly turned on by the idea of) having their argument completely shot down by me and my awesome “Dirty Dancing” remake-related insight. Email me if that sounds like you!

“ROAD HOUSE” FANS NEED NOT APPLY! THIS MEANS YOU! 

I am so tired this post seems hilarious of the day

In anticipation of presenting some of my research this weekend at the LMCC’s Open Studios I haven’t really been sleeping much, and most of the food I’ve been eating has been beige. This has sort of fried my brain. Is this funny? Because I think it is but I might also just be losing it. I think it’s the sincere use of the word “cutie” and the fact it’s an emoticon with a bracket that’s killing me. 

hey cutie, i delivered pizza to you today :] - m4w - 22 (dobbs ferry)

i definitely felt something when you looked at me. when i gave you your change i said “here you go, cutie” and i really meant it. and as you were walking away i noticed you walked slow so i could take in the view, i liked what i saw quite a bit :] 
anyway… tell me what pizza shop and/or what you ordered so i know it’s you
i hope to hear from you soon :] 

Excerpt from a report I’m writing about subway Missed Connections

The L train covers a range of commercial and residential zones by running across town in Manhattan and being the most direct route to Williamsburg, an extremely lonely area of Brooklyn, and more particularly to Bedford Avenue, a street lined with bars, boutiques, and sorrow. 

I am having a lot of fun with this.

How Is This Remotely Charming of the Day

Sometimes when I’m entering data I write notes in my “Notes” section that are not actually helpful, just a way to vent. Often, I end up writing “This is why I am going to die alone.” If this is what constitutes a magical memory I am pretty sure I need no magic.  

doggystyle dry hump - w4m - 30 (Maracuja, Williamsburg)

we met in the backyard of Maracuja on saturday night. you were tall and dressed all in black. while you were talking to my cousin i snuck up behind you, bent you forward from the waist, and dry humped you doggystyle. was it just me, or did something really magical happen between us that night? hopefully we can find that magic again… 

In Defense of Futile Gestures

So it may be inappropriate to admit this, but: I post Missed Connections sometimes. Because I have them. I don’t think of it as necessarily problematizing the data because well, they are actually valid and I count them. So I posted one a few days ago with no response from the person in question (which I expected), but I did get this email: 

Not having any luck finding that person that you saw on Craigslist?  That’s because the
method used on Craigslist is completely ineffective.

If you really want to find that other person, you should give I T I G G Y a try. There you’ll
be able to safely search for and make contact with that person with complete anonymity.
You’ll also be able to communicate with them via an internal and private messaging
system, but neither of you will ever know each other’s names or details unless you decide
to exchange them.

I T I G G Y … taking an old idea and making it much, much better.

I went to the site and, as far as I can tell, it’s Missed Connections with more bells and whistles and a more explicit agenda. And I responded to the email with this:

Hi,

I’m just sort of curious what your definition of “effective” is here,
insofar as I don’t think that Missed Connections is necessarily always
about finding a person. It’s as much a forum for messages in bottles,
stories, exhibitionism, and spam as it is a personals site. And that’s
why I think it’s kind of great. I mean, my post was to someone I
actually know—I could have just as easily conveyed the contents of
that post in a Facebook message directly to him, but that’s 1) really
weird and 2) not necessary, as I’m not really interested in pursuing a
relationship with that person. I just was genuinely glad I ran into
them at a social function. It was a post more for expressing a
sentiment that, while positive, doesn’t necessarily need to be shared
with the person who elicited that sentiment.

Listen, I’m probably being unnecessarily argumentative here because
I’m kind of a self-styled Missed Connections expert—I’ve been
researching and making work based on NYC MCs for a little over two
years now and I’m actually doing a residency right now creating
artwork based on that research. So while I’m sure your website is
great for a particular demographic of MC users, it makes me a little
sad to see it reduced to being called an “ineffective” dating site.
Maybe I’m a Luddite, but I love that there are a few Web 1.0 holdouts
going strong still, and Craigslist is one of the best among them. I’m
not really expecting a response here, as I don’t even think you read
my post, but I hope that you understand where I’m coming from as an observer and participant in the Missed Connections community. 

I’m not entirely sure if this reply makes me a crazy person or not, but I’m genuinely annoyed by the attempts to capitalize on/”improve” upon the Missed Connections concept. It seems like it’s missing the point. Am I being ridiculous here? I’d actually really like to hear from people about this. 

And Now, Some Charts

I’ve been neglecting data analysis and visualizations for the last week or so because I wanted to accumulate more data. As of now I’ve processed one week’s worth of Missed Connections posts (8/11/2011-8/18/2011), which is a little over 1,000 posts and a more reasonable number from which to draw conjecture. Also (more Google plugs!) it is easy to make charts like these super quick in Google Docs. So here’s a big picture on the content I’ve been slogging through for most of August and September:

(Note on the cut off text in the situation chart: that third to last one is “Places Where There Is Food.” The complexities of sit-down restaurant vs. diner vs. McDonald’s was getting to be too much. Clarification will come later when we do a more thorough report on food and Missed Connections in general.)

These results are pretty consistent with previous data analyses I’ve done of NYC Missed Connections.  Some of the situations may be skewed to anomalous seasonal activities (the beach, Celebrate Brooklyn), but that generally balances out (with Christmas things, Halloween parties, etc.).  

Now it’s time to start delving deeper into the content. Getting psyched. Expect lots more charts soon. 

OK, I Think This One is Actually Kind of Sweet of the Day

Tanya + Strand … You, Me and Patti Smith - m4w (STRAND)

tanya,

who really knows if you’re going to end up seeing this post of not, but i felt compelled to write so here goes.

on monday afternoon around 4pm, i stopped by strand to pick up a copy of ‘patti smith: dream of life’.

as i approached the next register available, you greeted me again with a pretty spectacular smile. i say again because i had visited strand a few days prior to pick up a copy of the same books, and by chance you were at the register i walked up to then. as i subtly commented on the coincidence, you didn’t miss a beat and joked that i had probably been cutting out pictured to hang on my wall, and i’m still laughing about that.

your sense of humor and amazing smile … i wouldn’t mind being around both a little bit more. care to make jokes over coffee or drinks?

here’s to trying. or, you know, i could just come in and buy a third copy of the book. 

Bitching About Missed Connections, On Missed Connections

I’ll NEVER get a missed connection - m4w - 25 (Brooklyn, NY)

I go out all the time. I’m really active and all around town and the neighborhood. I’m fit and social. Yet I never get a missed connection. Why are girls so nitpicky and analytical? Do I have to look like Ryan Phillipe or Leonardo DiCaprio to get a missed connection? I guess since I look like Jeff Goldblum I’m not good looking enough to get a missed connection. 

Yo dude, Jeff Goldblum rules. You need to shut it and give it time. The ladies who want Jeff Goldblum probably have the moxie to actually approach Jeff Goldblum, and come on, isn’t that the kind of girl you’d prefer?

Shenanigans Subject Line of the Day

I am pretty sure a nude housecleaner is something you want, not something you need, dude.